How to Accept Failure and Improve Your Mental Health

No one likes to talk about the lowest point you will go through in college. I hope and pray that your mental health never falls, but the reality is college is stressful, overwhelming, and filled with high expectations. Essays, speeches, and finals can hit you all at once. However, I’m here to help you through this time and to let you know that you are not alone.

*Important Disclaimer*:

Firstly, I am not a healthcare professional. Please seek help from your family, friends, and licensed professionals if you are experiencing any mental health crisis. In addition, it is okay to ask for help. You don’t have to face this alone.

The Emotional Downfall: You Are Not Alone

College is filled with ups and downs. It’s completely normal to feel like you can’t do it anymore. Everyone goes through that one moment where they consider dropping out, packing their bags, and moving far, far away. You are not weak for feeling this way. In addition, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you are human.

Next, you’re adjusting to a new phase of life—a phase where independence feels freeing but also incredibly lonely sometimes. You’re navigating deadlines, exams, and balancing a social life, all while trying to figure out who you are and where you fit in the world. It’s okay to feel lost. For example, it is okay to feel like you’re drowning. These feelings won’t last forever.

The most important thing to remember is that this moment is temporary. Even when things feel impossible, remind yourself that the storm will pass. Think about what happens if things go right. Imagine yourself walking across that graduation stage, knowing that you pushed through.

Taking It One Day at a Time for your Mental Health

When you’re overwhelmed, thinking about everything at once can feel paralyzing. Your brain starts spiraling, and suddenly, you’re drowning in to-do lists that feel impossible to tackle. Instead of focusing on everything due this week, take it one day at a time.

Ask yourself:

• What do I need to accomplish today to feel more prepared tomorrow?
• What small steps can I take to stay on track without feeling drained?
• How can I break down my goals into manageable tasks?

I swear by planning and organizing because it keeps me centered and helps me avoid procrastination for my mental health. Write things down. Therefore, make a list, even if it’s a small one. Celebrate crossing off even the tiniest tasks because those little wins add up for your mental health.

Check In With Yourself: Listen to Your Body and Mind

Have you noticed that you’ve been crying more than usual? Maybe you feel mentally exhausted even after getting enough sleep. Remember, these are your body’s warning signs. In fact, you need to pause. Your mind and body are begging for a reset, and ignoring those signals can lead to burnout.

What are the signs that you need to slow down?

• Crying more than usual or feeling emotionally sensitive
• Difficulty focusing or staying motivated
• Feeling mentally drained even after rest
• Physical exhaustion or getting sick frequently
• Losing interest in things that once brought you joy

It’s okay to take a break. Resting isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a sign that you value yourself enough to pause. Give yourself permission to breathe. Importantly, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

The Power of Self-Care for Mental Health

When was the last time you did something just for yourself? Although, self-care doesn’t have to be expensive or time-consuming. It can be as simple as:

• Taking a long, warm shower
• Listening to your favorite music
• Journaling your thoughts and feelings
• Going for a walk outside
• Binge-watching your favorite comfort show

Self-care is necessary. Taking care of yourself mentally and emotionally is just as important as taking care of your physical health. For example, when we scrape our knees, we don’t just ignore it. We clean the wound, apply a bandage, and give it time to heal. But what are you doing when your mind gets hurt?

Lean on Others: You Don’t Have to Carry This Alone

Are you feeling disconnected from others? Are you feeling lonely or isolated? Guess what? It’s normal. This is a new place, a new atmosphere, and you are still figuring out where you fit in. It’s okay if you don’t have a solid friend group yet. It’s okay if your high school friendships are fading. Friendships change, and that’s okay.

Making new friends in college is not as easy as movies make it seem. Sometimes it feels awkward, uncomfortable, and even discouraging. However, building connections takes time. Don’t give up.

How to Start Connecting:

• Get Out of Your Room: As tempting as it is to stay curled up in your dorm, try stepping outside your comfort zone. Go to campus events, study in common areas, or join clubs that interest you.
• Try New Hobbies: Explore new interests. Sign up for an art class, try intramural sports, or volunteer on campus. You’ll meet people who share similar passions.
• Compliment Others: It sounds so simple, but giving someone a genuine compliment can break the ice and open the door to conversation. For example, make a stranger smile. 
• Ask Questions About Others: People love talking about themselves. Ask questions about their major, where they’re from, or what they like doing for fun. Furthermore, it takes courage to initiate, but the reward is worth it.

Failure Isn’t the End: It’s the Beginning of Growth

Here’s a hard truth: you are going to fail at something in college. And guess what? That’s a good thing. Failure doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. It means you’re trying, learning, and growing.

You won’t get an A on every exam. You won’t get every internship you apply for. While sometimes, relationships or friendships won’t work out. It’s okay. Additionally, you’re not supposed to have it all figured out yet.

Fail Forward: Learn and Adapt

Every failure teaches you something valuable. When things don’t go as planned:

• Reflect: What went wrong? What can I learn from this?
• Adjust: What can I do differently next time?
• Move Forward: Don’t let failure paralyze you. Take what you’ve learned and keep going.

Remember, the most successful people in the world didn’t get there without failing first. You have to stumble before you can soar.

Self-Compassion: Becoming Your Biggest Cheerleader

You are going to fail. It’s inevitable. You’ll mess up an assignment. Maybe you forget a deadline. Or you will say the wrong thing. And sometimes, life will throw curveballs that you never saw coming. But here’s the truth: Every time you fall, you get back up. Therefore, that is where your strength lies.

It’s so easy to beat yourself up when things don’t go as planned. You might think, “I’m not good enough,” or “Why can’t I get this right?” Stop right there. You wouldn’t talk to your best friend that way. So, why do you talk to yourself like that? Furthermore, this can be damaging to your mental health in the long term.

Be Kind to Yourself

Self-compassion is about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would show to someone you love. Similarly, you deserve that same grace. You’re human. You’re learning. And sometimes, growth looks messy.

Here’s how to practice self-compassion:

• Talk to Yourself Like a Friend: When negative thoughts creep in, ask yourself, “Would I say this to someone I love?” Conversely, if the answer is no, reframe that thought with kindness.
• Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel sad, disappointed, or frustrated. However, don’t shove those feelings away. Sit with them. Honor them.
• Forgive Yourself: Mistakes don’t define you. In contrast, learn from them and move forward. You are not your failures.

How to Pick Yourself Back Up:

Resilience is the ability to bounce back after facing challenges. Additionally, it’s not about avoiding hardships—it’s about learning to rise after falling for your mental health.

Ways to Build Resilience:

• Shift Your Perspective: See challenges as opportunities for growth.
• Practice Gratitude: Focus on the good, even on hard days.
• Develop a Growth Mindset: Believe that your abilities and intelligence can improve with effort.
• Surround Yourself with Support: Lean on people who uplift and encourage you.

Failure is Proof You’re Trying

Failure doesn’t mean you’re incapable. It means you’re pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone. Every stumble is proof that you’re taking risks and growing. In addition, failure is not the opposite of success—it’s part of it.

Think about the most inspiring people you know. The first person that comes to my mind is my grandmother. Likewise, do you think they succeeded on their first try? Absolutely not. Consistently, they failed. Over and over again. But they didn’t stop. Furthermore, they kept going because they believed that the best version of themselves was waiting on the other side of failure.

So when you fall, remember:

• Failure is a lesson, not a label.
• You’re allowed to feel disappointed, but don’t stay there.
• Each setback is preparing you for a bigger comeback.

You Have Overcome So much So Far: Self-Reflection

When life knocks you down, you are the one who decides to get back up. And that’s where true power lies. Above all, you don’t need validation from others. Additionally, you are enough as you are. In fact, you are your biggest cheerleader, and the way you speak to yourself can change everything.

Celebrate the small wins. Did you submit that assignment, even though you were exhausted? Cheer yourself on. Did you get out of bed and face a hard day? Give yourself credit. Moreover, you are doing better than you think.

Talk to yourself like this:

• “I am proud of how far I’ve come.”
• “I am doing my best, and that’s enough.”

“I have overcome hard days before, and I will again.”

You Are Stronger Than You Think

College is a journey—a beautiful, messy, challenging journey that shapes you into the person you are meant to become. Moreover, you are not defined by your lowest moments. You are defined by how you rise after falling.

Be gentle with yourself and your mental health.

Celebrate the little wins for your mental health. Lean on others. Most importantly, remember that you are capable, resilient, and worthy of every success that comes your way.

Therefore, this season of growth might be hard, but the best version of yourself is waiting on the other side. Keep going. You’ve got this.

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(Pro-Tip) Check out our similar blog post: The Ultimate 10 Hidden Self-Care Goals for College Students